Supreme Caregivers

If anyone would have told me ten years ago, when the ink on the first issue of Today’s Caregiver was still drying, that over the next decade: Superman would valiantly fight his most deadly foe helping millions in the process, the Great Communicator would slowly lose his voice, and for the first time ever, a sitting Supreme Court justice would be willing to leave the bench due to health concerns for a loved one, I would have been concerned for that person’s grasp of reality.

Now that all of the above mentioned public expressions of caregiving (and more) have come to pass, I am still pained by the amount of people that we meet, in big cities or small, who believe they are totally alone as they care for their loved ones and that no one could possibly understand what they go through on a daily basis.

This week, I spent time with over 600 professionals who understand very well what the caregivers in their communities need, and I can tell you that there is a tremendous effort underway to support caregivers in most every corner of this country. The National Association of Area Agencies on Aging’s 30th annual conference just concluded in Bellevue, Washington and I am just beginning to sort through the programs available to family caregivers across the nation.

It would have been difficult, so many years ago, for me to also imagine a time when there were such efforts as: grandparent caregiving support programs, organized community volunteer programs dedicated to supporting caregivers, 24 hour phone resource centers, online databases detailing free community services, and an intergenerational program in which physical therapy graduate students help create individualized exercise programs for the elderly in their community. But, if you ask anyone who was at the conference this week, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

If you would like to know what services are available in your community, contact the Administration on Aging Eldercare Locater and talk with the nice person on the other end of the phone. http://www.n4a.org/locator.cfm

Speaking of the recent news concerning the Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Conner, I know that those who have not been in the position to care for a loved one could honestly wonder how she made the decision to step down from the bench. You don’t have to ask such a question of the millions of family caregivers who have moved across country and lost or quit jobs to care for loved ones. They already know the answer.

Sincerely,

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com

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Carenotes
My mom has been in a nursing home facility for almost 2 years now. For the most part she really hasn't adjusted. She is fairly cognitive and still can be feisty. I  am her only daughter and I too miss what we had for most of my life. She was my best friend who has now become seemingly angry with me for this time of her life. She is in a very reputable nursing home but she has daily complaints and it appears I am the only one she vents to. It seems I can never do enough things right for her. She used to be the one I told all my troubles too - now that part of my life is gone. I have a disabled husband and a shaky marriage at best so my patience is not as great as it used to be. I live 65 miles from the nursing home she is in and I go down to visit and take her out for an afternoon lunch about ever 10 days and buy her whatever she ask s for but it never seems enough to keep her happy for even a few days.  She complains about the help at the home, the food and definitely display episodes of paranoia.  I feel so sad and helpless and also angry at the same time. I am looking for a local support group to hopefully get at least some affirmation of my feelings or at least an active chat room.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. A Answer This Week's CareNote: carenotes/2005/index.htm
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