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From The Editor |
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Happy Valentine's Day
They heard about the session in the
news that very morning. Let’s call them Mike and Mindy. I
was in their town to host an information and resource panel
and had a short interview on one of the local television
stations, which prompted their attendance. The idea of the
panel was to enable caregivers to ask questions of their
local experts and receive immediate attention. My role was
to moderate and (hopefully) motivate.
At first Mike and Mindy didn’t ask any
questions, it seemed as if it took all their available
energy not to burst into tears. Finally, their story
emerged; they had been primary caregivers for Mindy’s Mom,
who lived with them for over 18 years before she passed away
last fall. Now, his dad needed care. The rest of the story
was familiar enough, no local family except for a brother
living 30 miles away who might as well have been living on
another planet. The question they finally asked that day was
delivered in a low but plaintive tone “How can we get away,
if even for a while?”
To me, the answers were simple enough.
Their community was at no loss for respite opportunities.
But as I listened while they were given credible options for
temporary relief, I realized something. These folks were too
drained and too lost to be able to even hear the answers
given. They were like the person who needed to gain muscle
strength before being able to perform a strenuous physical
task, but were too weak and depressed to even start the
exercise needed to develop the muscles to begin the task in
the first place.
I know that they received good advice
that day and one of the agencies was committed to following
up with them, but I don’t know if they will be able to find
the energy to help motivate each other to the action they so
desperately need. I hope so.
The take-home lesson for all of us who
empathize with Mike and Mindy is that although they have
consistently exhibited real love for their family members,
the people they really need to turn their attention to this
Valentines Day (and beyond) is themselves.
Happy Valentine’s Day, or as I like to
say “Happy Care for Caregivers Day.”
Take care
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
2006 Caregiver Friendly Award Nomination
Our discussion forum has changed for
the better, and you will be able to access posts from
as far back as July 2005. Visit
caregiver.com and
click on the discussion forum link on the left.
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Feature
Article |
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She Wanted Two Kisses
By Gwendolyn de Geest, RN,
BSN, MA
Rose sits in the lounge chair. The morning rays of sunlight
shine on her face, illuminating her once bright, blue eyes. ..Continued |
Additional Articles::
Coping with Grief
By Dorothy Womack
Today I am talking to those of you who are the
remaining spouse, having placed your loved one into
a care facility...Continued
Planning for the Future
By Rabbi Saul Goldman
Caregivers are
lonely people. The more fortunate ones may be surrounded by close family
and friends, but many Caregivers are left to struggle with the pain of a
loved one by themselves. ...Continued
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Guest Column |
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Hospice Care
by Peter Ganther
As caregivers to someone who is terminally ill, we
must eventually think about end-of-life care for our loved ones.
We want them to die in familiar surroundings with us and with
dignity......Continued |
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Caretips |
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Alzheimer's
And Incontinence: A Puzzling Combination
Daniel L. Paris, MSW
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse,
your loved one with Alzheimer’s develops incontinence. What do you do now?
The following letter and its answer may help with this puzzling
combination...Continued
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F r o m O u r R e a d e r s |
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Carenotes |
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My husband recently had a stroke. He doesn't
want to get out of bed in the mornings and
doesn't want to take a shower. He's very
difficult. It usually takes me 3-4 hours to
get him up and I'm in tears and he's only
had two showers in 10 days and getting him
there was very difficult. I've had to cancel
doctors appointments and therapy sessions
because he won't get out of bed. Before the
stroke he would take 1 sometimes 2 showers a
day.
He's pretty agreeable
about everything else. Any ideas on
motivating him to get up and take a bath or
shower?
Answer This Week's CareNote:
carenotes/2006/index.htm
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